"Tell Me and I'll Forget"

"Tell me and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand."

Two weeks ago, a wise lighting designer at HSRT shared this Native American proverb with us at a company meeting, and it has stuck with me ever since that morning. I had had a revelation:  truly the most beneficial way to learn is to be involved.

I don’t use this quote to discredit the value of gaining knowledge through listening and observation – these are two of the most important tools in learning – or to say that I am an unreliable person (please, please, please don’t believe that!). Instead, I use this quote to further validate the significance of productivity. In my eyes, active learning is the best way to solidify a new skill set and overcome a new challenge.

I am constantly told of better ways to command a rehearsal space or run a performance; I am always shown different styles of stage management documents. But there is no way to prove that I’ve taken this advice to heart unless I get involved and do it myself. If someone else does it for me, then how can I learn?

After all, theatre is an art; the arts are interactive. It is not enough for budding artists to sit in a lecture hall and learn about design technique and the great artists before them (which, of course, we do when studying arts in school). Knowledge of execution and history is important, yes, but to be a true artist you must execute – demonstrate the knowledge that you’ve gained by creating art yourself.

Action, involvement, execution are what being employed in the arts (and anywhere else, for that matter) is all about. Even the job selection process is involved; when a theatre artist goes in for an interview or audition we present work that we have done and can do – auditions, portfolios, prompt scripts, or even actual props or costumes pieces we created – all physical demonstrations of the talent and work we put into a previous project. Managing directors do not hire employees on the sole basis of their knowledge about their theatre or season of plays, but on the skills and quality of work they have to offer to the company. In an interview we present our capabilities, but when hired we must follow through. Landing the job doesn’t always mean you keep the job.

As terrifying as that thought may be, that fact just instills determination in me to put my best foot forward on every production I am involved with. And if I stumble, I have a fierce drive to remedy any mistake immediately. Following my debrief meeting with the theatre department last semester, I told my director that all I ever wanted to do was give him a good production – something that he could be proud of. I’ll say that I was the most disappointed in the room that I was not able to live up to full expectation last semester. But I am taking this disappointment as a challenge to remedy the past and be better than myself in the future.

This same director recently sent me an email as I began gearing my mind toward New York City. He reminded me, “that these people are not teachers in the conventional sense; they don't take people on unless they can be assured it will be worth it for them.  I have heard several sponsors say that they cannot stay in business without interns (aka ‘free labor’).  In return they allow Interns to participate in a professional situation, to observe and learn by doing.” I really take this advice to heart and I agree completely. Professionals in the theatre world of New York City are not there to baby-step interns into the business. They mean business from the get-go. If accepted into this program, I’m going to be thrown head-long into an existing and thriving theatre company, and am going to be expected to keep up.

Luckily, that prospect is incredibly exciting for me! I’m ready to take on that change of pace – even if it’s a rapid one. And perhaps admitting that I had a difficult few months with a production isn’t the best career move, but honesty is my number one value. So I won’t lie. I’m not perfect and I still have much to learn and experience. I’m also not going to dwell on the negative, but move forward and keep my eyes set on the positive. With inspiration from my mentors in my mind, I am taking these next several months focusing intently on the execution of my work – making every moment an opportunity to “learn by doing”. If I’m going to make it in New York, I have to be worth it. And I know I can be.

A Revisit, A Recap, and A Revamp

Can you believe I haven’t posted since November? I hope none of you thought I disappeared completely. But don’t lose faith in me! I’m back and eager to write, write, WRITE! But first, I owe you all a little update.

Revisit. This blog. I spent the morning rereading each post on my page, recalling my thoughts and experiences in the theatre since last summer. Some posts made me smile; others had me wondering why I even started them in the first place. The hour spent with my blog made me miss writing again. Nostalgia aside, there was one thing struck me as I read. I could use this blog not just for personal musings or readers’ entertainment, but as a contemplative tool in an educational and professional setting. You see, I have a big plan ahead of me:  I will soon be applying to the New York Arts Program through the Great Lakes College Association [http://nyartsprogram.owu.edu/]. If all goes well, I will be spending my spring semester in New York City interning with an Off-Broadway theatre company. As a capstone project, each student is required to present a piece that represents their experience in their given field and individual internship. So many different artists participate in this program; in addition to fellow thespians, I will be learning alongside visual artists, musicians, dancers, writers, and even architects. With managerial work, however, it is more difficult to present a physical piece representing my experience – especially if I get a position as an ASM and will not necessarily have a book to document all my work. While all things are still up in the air, this blog could possibly be my piece if I wrote constructive and critical reflections of my work in the city. But we’ll see. Everything is still open.

                This brings me to my recap. I have almost eight months to fill you in on! I’ll give you the short, honest version of the story. I left you dear readers at tech week of Sweeney Todd: it opened, it was a hit, major house counts each night! Come spring semester, I was asked to stage manage Hope’s production of George Kaufman’s and Edna Ferber’s 1930s play, Stage Door. “Good for you, Jackie,” you may be thinking, “You’re moving up!” Yes, well, unfortunately it was a difficult production to oversee. With a cast of 30 students – many of them new to the theatre department and many of them taking night classes – it was difficult to get the entire cast in the rehearsal hall at one time every night. Missing two, five, even eight actors every other night made rehearsing an ensemble driven play quite tough. Nonetheless, we opened. It wasn’t quite a big hit as Sweeney Todd, but our audiences generally enjoyed themselves. After we closed, I had a debrief meeting with my professors – as is custom for stage managers at Hope – and it was not the best review. A lot of factors went into this difficult critique, but in lieu of blaming anyone other than myself, I’ll simply say that I did not meet the expectations of my professors. I’ll take that full responsibility, yes, but I would be lying if I said that that meeting didn’t shake my confidence.

                With this on my mind, I began a stage management internship in May with the Hope Summer Repertory Theatre [http://www.hope.edu/hsrt/]. I went into this summer with a mind to improve – to take my critiques and do things differently this time around. My goal for this internship was to grow, to strengthen my abilities, to observe and learn new ways to better myself as a stage manager. I have to say that I am truly reaching that goal. I have been assigned an ASM position on three of the seven productions this summer: The 39 Steps, The Light in the Piazza, and an original cabaret piece titled I Am Woman. The company spent the first half of the summer rehearsing 10 hours a day in rotation; in the morning I would be rehearsing one play, in the afternoon another, then jump back to the first in the evening (or the third depending on the daily schedule). It was a busy, busy whirlwind of a month full of its new challenges and lessons. Last Friday, we opened the final production in our season and are now in the final stretch of the summer: rehearsals are over and we are just performing in rep for the next three weeks – what company members call Rock Star Camp.

                Now that you’re all caught up, it’s time for a revamp. A revamp for me, that is. After a difficult semester and a challenging summer (yes, it took blood, sweat, and tears to make it to Rock Star Camp), a handful of my peers and family members were asking me if I was ready to throw in the towel. To that I respond, “Absolutely not!” Just the thought of giving up an entire career – an entire dream – at 20 years old seems completely ridiculous to me! After all, this summer is first time I’ve worked in a professional theatre company. I’ve only just begun. One rough year is not reason enough for me to start rethinking my entire life. Trust me, all these challenges have not gone to waste. I am using the tough critiques I received in the spring to be a better ASM this summer. I’m seeking advice, feedback, and critique from my new mentors and peers at HSRT; correcting myself when I need to be corrected; observing and adopting the methods of my stage managers that are stronger than mine; and letting my voice be heard. I’m learning. Whether positive or negative, I consider every experience an opportunity to learn. As long as I put the lessons to use, I will improve. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

                I’m not done yet. My knowledge and capabilities as a stage manager have expanded this summer, and this is definitely not my last stint in the theatre. I still have much to say, much to do, more to learn, and even bigger goals to accomplish. You haven’t seen the last of me.