A Revisit, A Recap, and A Revamp

Can you believe I haven’t posted since November? I hope none of you thought I disappeared completely. But don’t lose faith in me! I’m back and eager to write, write, WRITE! But first, I owe you all a little update.

Revisit. This blog. I spent the morning rereading each post on my page, recalling my thoughts and experiences in the theatre since last summer. Some posts made me smile; others had me wondering why I even started them in the first place. The hour spent with my blog made me miss writing again. Nostalgia aside, there was one thing struck me as I read. I could use this blog not just for personal musings or readers’ entertainment, but as a contemplative tool in an educational and professional setting. You see, I have a big plan ahead of me:  I will soon be applying to the New York Arts Program through the Great Lakes College Association [http://nyartsprogram.owu.edu/]. If all goes well, I will be spending my spring semester in New York City interning with an Off-Broadway theatre company. As a capstone project, each student is required to present a piece that represents their experience in their given field and individual internship. So many different artists participate in this program; in addition to fellow thespians, I will be learning alongside visual artists, musicians, dancers, writers, and even architects. With managerial work, however, it is more difficult to present a physical piece representing my experience – especially if I get a position as an ASM and will not necessarily have a book to document all my work. While all things are still up in the air, this blog could possibly be my piece if I wrote constructive and critical reflections of my work in the city. But we’ll see. Everything is still open.

                This brings me to my recap. I have almost eight months to fill you in on! I’ll give you the short, honest version of the story. I left you dear readers at tech week of Sweeney Todd: it opened, it was a hit, major house counts each night! Come spring semester, I was asked to stage manage Hope’s production of George Kaufman’s and Edna Ferber’s 1930s play, Stage Door. “Good for you, Jackie,” you may be thinking, “You’re moving up!” Yes, well, unfortunately it was a difficult production to oversee. With a cast of 30 students – many of them new to the theatre department and many of them taking night classes – it was difficult to get the entire cast in the rehearsal hall at one time every night. Missing two, five, even eight actors every other night made rehearsing an ensemble driven play quite tough. Nonetheless, we opened. It wasn’t quite a big hit as Sweeney Todd, but our audiences generally enjoyed themselves. After we closed, I had a debrief meeting with my professors – as is custom for stage managers at Hope – and it was not the best review. A lot of factors went into this difficult critique, but in lieu of blaming anyone other than myself, I’ll simply say that I did not meet the expectations of my professors. I’ll take that full responsibility, yes, but I would be lying if I said that that meeting didn’t shake my confidence.

                With this on my mind, I began a stage management internship in May with the Hope Summer Repertory Theatre [http://www.hope.edu/hsrt/]. I went into this summer with a mind to improve – to take my critiques and do things differently this time around. My goal for this internship was to grow, to strengthen my abilities, to observe and learn new ways to better myself as a stage manager. I have to say that I am truly reaching that goal. I have been assigned an ASM position on three of the seven productions this summer: The 39 Steps, The Light in the Piazza, and an original cabaret piece titled I Am Woman. The company spent the first half of the summer rehearsing 10 hours a day in rotation; in the morning I would be rehearsing one play, in the afternoon another, then jump back to the first in the evening (or the third depending on the daily schedule). It was a busy, busy whirlwind of a month full of its new challenges and lessons. Last Friday, we opened the final production in our season and are now in the final stretch of the summer: rehearsals are over and we are just performing in rep for the next three weeks – what company members call Rock Star Camp.

                Now that you’re all caught up, it’s time for a revamp. A revamp for me, that is. After a difficult semester and a challenging summer (yes, it took blood, sweat, and tears to make it to Rock Star Camp), a handful of my peers and family members were asking me if I was ready to throw in the towel. To that I respond, “Absolutely not!” Just the thought of giving up an entire career – an entire dream – at 20 years old seems completely ridiculous to me! After all, this summer is first time I’ve worked in a professional theatre company. I’ve only just begun. One rough year is not reason enough for me to start rethinking my entire life. Trust me, all these challenges have not gone to waste. I am using the tough critiques I received in the spring to be a better ASM this summer. I’m seeking advice, feedback, and critique from my new mentors and peers at HSRT; correcting myself when I need to be corrected; observing and adopting the methods of my stage managers that are stronger than mine; and letting my voice be heard. I’m learning. Whether positive or negative, I consider every experience an opportunity to learn. As long as I put the lessons to use, I will improve. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

                I’m not done yet. My knowledge and capabilities as a stage manager have expanded this summer, and this is definitely not my last stint in the theatre. I still have much to say, much to do, more to learn, and even bigger goals to accomplish. You haven’t seen the last of me.